


World On Fire

by Polarnacht



Series: Parabatai [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Lightwood-centric, Angst, Canon Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Parabatai Bond, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, parabatai love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:48:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25246393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polarnacht/pseuds/Polarnacht
Summary: When Alec feels Jace die at Lake Lynn, Alec's world burns and it stops spinning. When it starts again, Alec cannot believe that Jace is alive. He needs to see proof that Jace truly is back. He needs to see him bleed.Part two of the Parabatai series, in which Alec and Jace love each other but are not actually together, as they are already bonded as Parabatai. Backround Malec (who are equally in love).
Relationships: Alec Lightwood & Jace Wayland, Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland, backround Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Parabatai [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1827145
Comments: 13
Kudos: 49





	World On Fire

World On Fire

Alec gasped in surprise. And then he screamed. He screamed out of fear, he screamed out of pain. He screamed out of love. Stars exploded behind his eyelids and the world was set on fire, but it was not the world that burnt. It was his soul. Forged in rings of flames, their bond burnt away alike. His hands clasped their rune and his fingers were coated in blood. Black colored blood run in a constant stream down his hip, seeping into the ground. The more blood he lost, the more the rune faded. And Alec felt it, too. He felt Jace slip away, he felt Jace’s soul standing in flames. It hurt like nothing else before. It was a pain beyond pain, as it was not only Jace’s soul that burnt. Alec burnt along with it.

He didn’t register falling to the ground, he just heard his own screams. The noises of the battle around him grew louder, a crescendo of ringing blades, of howling wolfs and warlocks yelling spells. The noises crashed over him until suddenly, the world went still. Alec heard nothing but the pulsating of his blood in his ears, pushed through his veins by his strong beating heart. This was the moment he knew. But Alec was not ready. He was not ready to let him go. He was not ready to be left behind. Yet, he knew. Alec’s world stood still. He couldn’t scream, he couldn’t cry, he couldn’t feel. There was just nothing at all. It scared him more than the pain before. His heart beat stronger than ever before. A constant rhythm, like nothing had happened at all. Alec wanted to scream, but no noise came out of his mouth. There was just a ringing silence.

Suddenly a wave of noise hit him and Alec could hear again. He heard Magnus calling his name, he heard the sound of war surrounding him, he smelled the blood in the air, he tasted the stale flavor of death on his lips. But he didn’t feel.

*

The moment Alec saw Jace, he started to run. His strength and speed rune gleamed red and he didn’t stop until his body slammed into him. They crashed to the ground, Jace taken completely by surprise. Alec was furious. He was scared. And he was furious. He was on top of Jace within seconds, holding him down with his weight and the strength from his runes. He sat on top of him, giving him no chance to break free. He was furious and he wanted to scream, but only a gurgling sound left his throat. Jace looked up to him under his thick, long lashes and Alec punched him hard in the face. Jace grunted in pain, but didn’t fight back.

“Alec, it’s okay…”

Alec punched him again.

 _How dare he._ _How dare he lie to him like that._

Nothing was okay. Jace had died and had left him alone in a world without Parabatai. He had been dead and nothing was ever going to be the same again. Nothing was okay. He had felt him dying, he had felt his soul slip out of his grip, he had felt their bond burst into flames. Nothing was okay.

He needed to cut Jace open, to tear him apart. He needed to taste him, to smell him, he needed to burry himself deep into him. He needed to make him bleed. He needed to see the red juice of life pour out of him to be able to believe he was real. Because Jace had been dead and nothing was ever going to be okay again.

So Alec punched him again and again until he felt Jace’s nose break under his fist and finally the blood started to spill, tainting them both in an unholy red. Jace’s blood stood harshly against his pale skin and golden hair. It looked good. He looked good. He looked alive. With a dry sob Alec drew away and set back on his heels, watching Jace with his swollen lip, bruised skin and broken nose.

“I’m sorry, Alec.”

Jace raised his hand to touch Alec’s cheek and finally, Alec started to cry. When salty tears mingled with metallic blood, Alec was finally able to feel. Strong arms pulled him down and he was pressed against a broad, familiar chest. He felt Jace breathe against him, the up and down a comforting rhythm. Alec scooped closer and Jace wrapped himself around him, until their hearts started to beat as one. They couldn’t be closer even if they wanted to be, yet it was not enough. Alec hated that loving Magnus and being loved back was not enough, but after Jace had died and left him to be, this would never be enough anymore. Alec needed Jace to be closer, he needed to feel him more. He needed to know what his lips tasted like, how salty were his tears. He heard the soft whisper against his ear and Alec felt his heart break in two. There was a crack, right in the middle of it, a crack that would never heal. All he wanted was to kiss those lips, as it was meant to be. But he couldn’t. Because it was Jace and he couldn’t. Not now, not ever.

Because they were Parabatai.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments & kudos are loved 💙


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